Refilling Your Cup
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re just EXHAUSTED, and you feel like you can’t anymore? Like all you want to do is pass out on the couch, eat some chocolate, or watch something—anything—just to shut your brain off for a little while?
Well… you’re not alone. So many of us feel the same way, especially when there’s just so much to do, so much to worry about, so much to be in charge of.
You wake up already tired because one (or more) of the kids needed you in the middle of the night.
You’re making lunches because last night you just didn’t have the strength.
You’re rushing to get everyone ready in time, taking care of the baby, the kitchen, the dishes, the laundry… but also, somehow, you need to shower and get dressed, eat something, do Tefillah- if even there's enough time-, and get-to-work!
And then when you get home, lunch needs to be ready, you have to be emotionally present for the kids, try to remember all the parenting advice you’ve read, cover their emotional and physical needs, and not let yourself get so overwhelmed that you just snap and scream at everyone.
Because we all know “routine is best,” so bath time, dinner time, bedtime—check, check, check.
And when they’re finally asleep, guess what? The house is still a mess, the WhatsApp messages from a hundred different groups (teachers, workshops, family) are waiting, you need to make another dinner for you and your husband, and you’re supposed to get to bed early for that “beauty sleep” everyone talks about…
WHEN DOES IT STOP?!
First of all, BREATHE. Yes, right now. Oof, was that hard? Do it again. And again.
Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s normal. Thousands of women feel the same way.
Why? Because we were raised to serve others, to make them a priority—and never ourselves.
But that’s a huge mistake. Because if you are not okay, you can’t give to them.
Think about it: You want to give your friend a glass of water, but you have no water—just an empty cup. Will that help her? Nope. You need to fill your cup first. If you are not filled, you can’t pour into the people you love.
And listen, taking care of yourself is NOT selfish.
I’m not telling you to drop everything and go live “la vida loca.”
I’m saying that just by giving yourself a little bit every day,
You will feel better.
You will feel loved,
You will feel cared for, worthy, important.
And guess what? You’ll also be a better wife, mother, sister, friend.
You’ll have more strength, more energy, more love, more patience, more joy.
So, let’s do something simple.
What do YOU like to do?
I know, I know—you probably don’t even remember because it’s been so long since you had free time. But sit down with a cup of tea and try to remember what used to bring you joy before this wonderful chaos took over. It doesn’t have to be big.
Here are some ideas:
- A hot shower (like, uninterrupted!)
- Taking a walk
- Drawing, painting, doodling—whatever
- Playing an instrument (even if it’s just a few notes)
- Baking (for fun, not because you have to)
- Sitting outside, just breathing
- Playing with the dog
- Doing your makeup (even if no one will see you!)
- Calling a friend who makes you laugh
- Taking pictures, capturing little moments
- Watching a movie you love (even if in pieces!)
- Going on a date—even just with yourself
- Buying something for you (even if small!)
- Singing your heart out
I’m not asking too much. Just love yourself. Take care of yourself.
Hashem gave you all this because He believes in you. He has Emuna in you.
You are capable. You have all the tools you need (and yes, asking for help and learning new things are part of the tools!). No one is born knowing how to do everything.
We grow one step at a time.
So, I invite you to take those steps—with joy, love, and Emuna in yourself.
You are not alone. We are all walking this path together, side by side.
I’d love to hear your story, your growth. I’m always here, walking with you.
Thank you for being YOU. Keep on walking.
With love,
Irit